I'm struggling with finding my self worth. I have lost and gained weight so many times its ridiculous. I set goals for myself and fail within hours. I have been so hard on myself this summer. I have based my happiness on whether or not I ate well or screwed up. Even as I write this tears are being shed. I'm so unhappy with my self, but yet still continue to screw up.
Someone today asked me if I would give up 25% of my income to look the way I want to and honestly I don't think I would. I'm a fat girl with a fat girl mind set. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to be seen in public places with my family because I feel bad that they have to be seen with me. I feel like such an embarrassment to my family and friends. I don't think that losing weight would make me happy. I think I need to find my self worth in God before I can ever be happy.
This is such a hard post for me because it's real. I have to die to myself daily and start living for God or I will never be happy. The emptiness I feel cannot be filled by losing weight. I need a mind and heart change.
I leave for vacation today and I'm not sure my thoughts since I've been so unhappy lately, but I really want to try my best to live for God and let everything else fall into place. I need to be happy. I need to find my self worth.