Friday, August 9, 2013

Self Worth

I'm struggling with finding my self worth. I have lost and gained weight so many times its ridiculous. I set goals for myself and fail within hours. I have been so hard on myself this summer. I have based my happiness on whether or not I ate well or screwed up. Even as I write this tears are being shed. I'm so unhappy with my self, but yet still continue to screw up.

Someone today asked me if I would give up 25% of my income to look the way I want to and honestly I don't think I would. I'm a fat girl with a fat girl mind set. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to be seen in public places with my family because I feel bad that they have to be seen with me. I feel like such an embarrassment to my family and friends. I don't think that losing weight would make me happy. I think I need to find my self worth in God before I can ever be happy.

This is such a hard post for me because it's real. I have to die to myself daily and start living for God or I will never be happy. The emptiness I feel cannot be filled by losing weight. I need a mind and heart change.

I leave for vacation today and I'm not sure my thoughts since I've been so unhappy lately, but I really want to try my best to live for God and let everything else fall into place. I need to be happy. I need to find my self worth.


  1. Turning it over to God and letting Him steer can only lead to good things. Stay strong!

  2. Hey! I found your blog thru your post on another (Amy's).... I run an INSIDEout Fit Club (bc you have to be fit from the inside out) I want to help you in your journey!!!???? Let me?? you can sign up for a free no obligation to buy anything account on my website and then I can add you to our Facebook closed group, you can be a fly on the wall (w/Amy) and see the crazy challenge going on right now and the crazy results ppl are getting!!! My website is click on the orange join button choose FREE account....Again for the next upcoming challenge you dont have to buy anything you can use the programs you already own!! Contact ME!! I'm excited to walk along wide you!!

  3. I know how you feel. I have been fat, thin and every where in between. I find when I am the happiest with myself, is when I am helping other people and making a difference. Keeping a blog and being real, you are helping other people. I hope that makes you feel a little more hole.

  4. This post really spoke to me. I have been in your shoes (and sometimes still feel that way!). I have been embarrassed to be seen in public with my family. I have felt so disappointed and mad at myself for not accomplishing goals I've set for myself. In fact, just failing miserably at them. I can say that for the most part, I feel a lot better now than a couple of years ago. It's not just because I have lost some weight (even though I still need to loose a good bit more). I have put my faith in God. I'm NOWHERE near a perfect Christian and still have so far to go in my walk with God, but trust Him. We have to remember that we are His first and foremost. God will take care of you. He will give you the strength to tackle whatever it is you are going thru.

    P.S. You are way more than a number on scale or the size of your pants. :)

    1. Thank you for the sweet words! Trusting God is the only way!