Thursday, May 16, 2013

The BIg Fat Ugly Addiction

First things first, I was too busy/sleepy to post for the Weekly Challenge link-up which I am super mad at myself for.  I will be back on the bandwagon next week!

Second thing, I have an addiction. Food! I imagine myself skinny, and where I will be by a certain date, yet for some reason I'm doing nothing to help that along the way. I'm tired of being fat, yet I ate oreos today. I'm tired of being fat, yet instead of going outside and running on this beautiful day I really just want to take a bath. I know I can do it, but for some reason I keep making excuses - too stressed out, too tired, too busy, etc..

I have lost weight before, I have eaten low carb before, I have ran before. So what is my problem!?  Last weeks challenge from the 10 Week Challenge over at Operation Skinny Jeans was to find your motivation, and honestly I'm not sure. I want to be able to buy cute Kiki La'Rue clothes, I want to be able to run a 5k, I want to be alive to see my daughter grow up, yet apparently none of these things are good enough motivators.

I went to the chiropractor Monday and they did a progress report on my neck. Part of that includes stepping on a scale that calculates your BMI, weight, water consumption, and how old your body is. The doctor looked at me and said, "How old are you?" "25", I replied. She said, "Did you know this scale says that your body feels like a FORTY year old!!" Honestly I was shocked, but not really shocked. I thought about the Biggest Loser show where they tell contestants stuff like that and they cry or breakdown. My reply, "probably because I'm overweight." I then went home and ate Mexican food. I need a wake up call!! I need to find my motivation!

My goal this week is to find my motivation, meal plan, and get the crap over myself and to stop being selfish about my weight, because honestly me being fat is me being selfish. It's about me caring more about myself than the other people around me who are being effected.

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